Want to write a hilarious story? Got some funny characters, but you’re stuck for good dialogue?
Writing funny dialogue can be challenging, but we’ve got a gift for you.
Below you will find over 70 funny dialogue prompts to help inspire your character’s lines.
Later in the article, we included some funny short story ideas. You’ll also find examples of hilarious dialogue from popular literature to inspire you further and even make you laugh out loud.
After all, laughter is known to be the best medicine.
Funny dialogue prompts
Let’s get started with the funny dialogue prompts. Feel free to use as many of these prompts as you like. Add or change elements of any prompt to make it better suit your characters.
- ‘How much caffeine have you had today?’
- ‘That shirt looks much better in the trash.’
- ‘Dude, close the door!’
- ‘I think my virginity is growing back.’
- ‘Why are you eating grass?’
- ‘I had a dream about you. Actually, it was more of a nightmare.’
- ‘I really wish you had sent me a picture first.’
- ‘This isn’t my first rodeo.’
- ‘How many times do I have to tell you? I’m not a woman!’
- ‘Why is your face covered in honey?’
- ‘I don’t want dinner, thank you. I ate a horse for lunch.’
- ‘There’s nothing sexy about vomit.’
- ‘Oh, you’re a vampire? So that’s why you wanted to kiss my neck?’
- ‘Sometimes I wish I was a fish, y’know?’
- ‘Don’t shoot! I have chocolate.’
- ‘I may not be funny, but at least I’m handsome.’
- ‘..and humble.’
- ‘Are you alright? You look… Not alright.’
- ‘Please stop eating my dog’s food.’
- ‘Is your password really your birthday?’
- ‘If you’re not dead by the morning let’s get breakfast.’
- ‘That black dress matches the color of your soul.’
- ‘I understand that you want to break up, but what are we going to do with the giraffe?’
- ‘Sorry, Mom.’
- ‘I’m afraid we don’t have any snails left. May I suggest the barbecued worm or the fried spider?’
- ‘The King is dead! Long live the… Wait.. the new King is dead; long live the King!’
- ‘I’m sorry, sir, this playground is for children only.’
- ‘Whose phone is this? And why am I wearing these clothes? Where’s my coffee?’
- ‘I thought about you last night. A dog was barking outside my window, reminding me of how annoying you are.’
- ‘Welcome to my house! I don’t usually have human guests.’ ‘Excuse me?’ Nevermind… Welcome!’
- ‘If you had to choose between toes as fingers or fingers as toes, which would you choose?’
- ‘Remember how we talked about boundaries? This is one of those times.’
- ‘Hello, I’d like to apply for the clown position. I’m not a professional, but my life is a joke.’
- ‘Just once, I wish I didn’t have to talk to anyone for the rest of my life.’
- ‘You might be skilled, talented, and beautiful, but I’ve got a Playstation 5, so…’
- ‘Good morning, New York! This is Pete from the Pete Show. Today we’ll only be talking to guests named Peter. Hi Pete…’
- ‘I appreciate your advice, but I don’t have much respect for you, so I’m not going to take it.’
- ‘No, I did not ask for a nice tea; I asked for an ice tea!’
- ‘I forgive you, but you’ll have to ask my cat for forgiveness too.’
- ‘I wrote a song for you. It’s called ‘I want to break up with you, but I don’t know how to say it.’
- ‘I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t think you’re a good fit for this job. The role requires people in human form.’
- ‘When did you return from France, and why are you naked?’
- ‘You’re not invited inside.’ ‘But I’ve got chocolate. ‘…Ok, come in.’
- ‘Never trust a man in white trousers.’
- ‘Next time, I’ll cook.’
- ‘Hey, where are your trousers?! Oh, you’re wearing camo…’
- ‘I can’t even count how many times I failed math.’
- ‘No, no, no. I said don’t be yourself!’
- ‘I’m not like most people. I can’t stand an honest conversation. I much prefer lies and deceit.’
- ‘I appreciate your honesty, but maybe go a little easier next time?’
- ‘Wow, you look nothing like your profile picture.’
- ‘This isn’t your typical best man speech. For starters, I’m not a man.’
- ‘I thought you were funny, but I must have misread things.’
- ‘Yeah, my music taste is pretty unique..’ (plays Ed Sheeran)
- ‘My skills as an electrician are shocking.’
- ‘Whenever I have trouble falling asleep, I talk to you.’
- ‘Sir, this is Taco Bell. Please put your clothes back on.’
- ‘All my life, I wanted to be a grown-up. Now that I’m here, I’d rather be a child again.’
- ‘I hope you still want to be my friend, and again, I’m very sorry about your window.’
- ‘Talking to you is like exercising. I don’t want to do it.’
- ‘Oh God, I can’t stand blood; it makes me cringe! ‘But, aren’t you a vampire?’
- ‘You remind me of someone, but I can’t figure out who… Ah yes, Jabba the Hut.’
- ‘So, what do humans do for fun around here?’
- ‘Excuse me, sir, I asked for crab, not crap.’
- ‘Name?’ ‘Jason’ ‘Age?’ ’30.’ ‘Sex?’ ‘Yes, please.’
- ‘How could you forget my snake’s birthday?!’
- ‘No, thank you. I don’t drink water, only alcohol and my own tears.’
- ‘Where did you get your shoes? Clowns R Us?’
- ‘I know you love animals, so I bought you a pet tarantula for your birthday.’
- ‘I have a great idea! Let’s go to sleep.’
- ‘You’re my favorite person in the world, after my Mother, my best friend, my cousin Angela, my sixth-grade teacher, and my dog.’
- ‘I’m not going to tell you again, no spells in the car!’
Funny prompts for short stories
- Write a story about a man with a heightened startle response. Absolutely everything terrifies him.
- Two of the highest-scoring students in a class are natural enemies. Their debates keep everybody in class excited and engaged. Soon, they fall in love, must keep it a secret, and maintain the ‘enemies’ façade.
- Write a story about a mother who wants to reclaim her youth by hanging out with and dressing like her daughter’s friends.
- A man in need of new income takes a job as a delivery driver. Write a story about his interactions with several characters as he delivers packages to their homes.
- There are two people left on Earth. You and your most recent ex. Write about your conversation and whether or not you two stick together or part ways.
- Two friends in their early twenties make a pact to marry each other at 40 if they’re both still single. 4o comes, and they’re both still single. Write about their conversation when they meet each other.
- Write a story about a role reversal in which young students become teachers and teachers become students.
Funny dialogue from literature
Below we’ve included a short collection of some of the funniest lines of dialogue from popular literature. If you’re not a fan of the prompts we included above, feel free to take inspiration from these classics.
A Storm of Swords, George RR. Martin
‘I never win anything,’ Dolorous Edd complained. The Gods always smiled on Watt, though. When the wildlings knocked him off the Bridge of Skulls, somehow, he landed in a nice deep pool of water. How lucky was that, missing all those rocks?
‘Was it a long fall?’ Grenn wanted to know. ‘Did landing in the pool of water save his life?’
‘No,’ said Dolorous Edd. He was dead already from that ax in his head. Still, it was pretty lucky, missing the rocks.’
The Importance of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde
Jack: ‘How you can sit there, calmly eating muffins when we are in this horrible trouble, I can’t make out. You seem to me to be perfectly heartless.’
Algernon: ‘Well, I can’t eat muffins in an agitated manner. The butter would probably get on my cuffs. One should always eat muffins quite calmly. It is the only way to eat them.’
Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince, J.K Rowling
‘Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?
‘There’s no need to call me sir, professor.’
(Faust) Eric, Terry Pratchett
‘There’s a door,’ he whispered.
‘Where does it go?’
‘I think it stays where it is.’
A Woman of No Importance, Oscar Wilde
‘To win back my youth, Gerald, there is nothing I wouldn’t do – except take exercise, get up early, or be a useful member of the community.’
Writing funny dialogue can be challenging.
You may have some great jokes and whims lined up, but you must know how to use them effectively. When it comes to funny writing, it’s important to flesh out your characters.
Don’t rely on lines alone to bring the humor. A funny line from the wrong character won’t make sense.
Instead, adding humor to a surface, such as their attitude towards life or hapless nature, is better. This approach will help your readers better understand your jokes.
A final tip? Don’t give up if you hit a wall. It’s not always easy to keep your writing fresh and funny, so don’t be afraid to take breaks and return to your story with a rested mind.